Your Inner Circle

 

One of my favourite pastors L.Spencer Smith wrote “There’s a facilitation of the heart that should only be reserved for those who can handle the “nakedness” of your true self. You are responsible to discern that which qualifies to have access to that precious inner sanctum from which the issues of your life flows. You don’t owe everyone access there and never be guilted into giving it to those who don’t measure up. Lock your pearls and your peace”

You see folks, the people you keep in your inner circle should be carefully chosen. This is something even Jesus understood and applied. He chose 12 disciples, but even within those 12, He had 3 that He was closer to than the rest. These were the 3 that He took with Him to the garden of Gethsemane when He was about to be crucified. We can find this story in Matthew Chapter 26 from verse 36. This was His trying hour, the hour when He was weak and full of sorrow. These are the men He chose to be with Him at that time. 

Not everyone in your life should be granted access to your innermost being. Now, I need you to understand that choosing people in this manner does not make you a bad person or a snob, neither does it mean that the people you have left out are bad people. It simply means, you are aware of the fact that you need to have the right people in your inner circle. 

Most times, the people in your inner circle can determine whether you move closer to God or away from Him. We will discuss this more deeply in the next post. The people in your inner circle will either influence you to reach your potential or they will hold you back. You need to have people who not only embrace and support you, but will also correct you when you are wrong. You need people who will challenge you to grow as a person and will not celebrate your mediocrity. 

Late pastor Myles Munroe once told a story about how when he was a boy, in primary school, he came home one day excited to tell his mum that he was top of the class in a recent test they had taken. His mother took one look at the report and shook her head; she said “you’re top of the class with 73%. You’re not smart, everyone else is just stupid”. 

Now, it may sound harsh coming from a mother to a young boy buy she was trying to teach him something. People who encourage and celebrate your mediocrity are poisonous to your growth as a person. It is not okay for you to be mediocre, it is not okay for you to have bad manners, it is not okay for you to be a stagnant and luke warm Christian, it is not okay for you to settle for less than what you are capable of and it is definitely not okay for you to play around with your life. The people in your inner circle must know this and they must hold you accountable and help you stay on the right path.

Not everyone deserves or qualifies to listen to your problems, to witness you falling apart in a moment of weakness. Even in your moment of anger, not everyone deserves or qualifies to listen to your thoughts in that moment. I have learned the hard way, to be careful who I vent to when I’m going through something. Some people are just listening so they can be entertained; others listen so they can repeat what you said to whoever else might be interested; the worst people, listen so they can use it against you later on.

Pastor Jay Patrick wrote down some guidelines on how to choose your inner circle. You need:

At least one person who loves you unconditionally

At least one person that’s smarter than you

At least one person who appreciates your gifts/talents

At least one person who is unimpressed by your gifts/talents (to keep you grounded)

At least one person who has accomplished more than you

At least one person who is brutally honest

At least one person who is older than you and full of wisdom

There is no limit to how big your inner circle should be. Jesus chose 12, and then had 3 in another smaller inner circle.  I know that finding all those people mentioned above is not easy in this day and age, but I’m sure if we really tried, we can tick some on that checklist. 

I cannot stress enough the importance of choosing your inner circle carefully. There are many times when I have seen someone in a certain situation and thought to myself “you need new friends”. I have seen people go unchecked and uncorrected by their chosen inner circle, who instead choose to “appease ignorance with their silence”.

I implore you all to evaluate your inner circle and do not be afraid to remove people if you see that they do not qualify. This is your life, your potential, your destiny. You only live once. It is up to you to make sure you are living that one life, with the right people.