Soul Ties that Bind

This topic has been on my mind for a while, and I am finally getting round to writing it all down for you.

Today, we’re going to educate each other on soul ties. The first thing we need to understand is that human beings are made of 3 parts: the body, the soul and the spirit

• Your body is the bones and flesh, the house that holds the soul and spirit
• Your spirit is your divine nature that was designed to commune with God.
• Your soul comprises of your mind, emotions ad will. This is where the real drama happens. The issues to do with your soul run deep. This is where your actions come from, your will is carried out first in your soul. This is also the most corrupt and difficult part of a person to reform.

A soul tie is an emotional bond or connection that is formed between 2 people. I’m going to focus on 2 types of soul ties: sexual soul ties and emotional soul ties.

SEXUAL SOUL TIES

A sexual soul tie is formed when 2 people have sex. Whether in marriage or outside of it, sex is never just sex. Before you think this is all religious babble, I’ll explain it using biology: You see, when a woman has sex with a man, the hormone called Oxytocin is released. This is the same hormone that a womans body releases when she gives birth. It is the hormone responsible for bonding and forming emotional connections. Now the thing about this hormone is that it has no boundaries. It doesn’t know whether the sex is being had in marriage or out of it. Even during a one night stand, with a guy you met at the club: Oxytocin is released.  Biologically, when a woman is having sex, the part of her brain that deal with fear, intuition and anxiety is relaxed. So during that act, a woman is vulnerable. Not only is she forming a connection, she is also feeling more trusting and a lot less reserved. Her guard is down. 

For men; during sex, dopamine is released. Dopamine is responsible for pleasure. 

Women are a lot more susceptible to sexual soul ties than men are. This does not mean that men do not develop soul ties, they do. Soul ties are what keeps side-chicks being side-chicks. That relationship stays because the woman gets her dose of oxytocin and the man gets his dopamine. Everyone feels happy. 

 

Remember that your soul is comprises of your mind, emotions and will. So if your soul has bonded and tied to someone, you’ll find yourself thinking about them (mind), you’ll find yourself drawn to them physically and wanting to be around them (will) and you will find yourself feeling something akin to love (emotions) for this person. There are people who have gotten married because they had a sexual soul tie and they thought it was love , that they were meant to be together. 

When you find yourself checking their facebook page, driving by their house, asking about hem, thinking about what could have been; you have a soul tie. I’ll go as far as saying if you have an emotional reaction when you see them, hear from them or their name is mentioned; you have a soul tie. An emotional reaction can be anything from anger, to anxiety to a leap in your heart to a feeling of warmth when the phone rings ad you see their name. When you hear their voice and you smile…there is a soul tie.

This is why God never intended for people to have sex outside of marriage because when you think about it; all these things, within a marriage, would be ok.  

EMOTIONAL SOUL TIES

These are the trickiest because they can occur even in friendships (without sex) and they are difficult to identify.  When you form intimate friendships with people, where you share secrets, you open your heart and mind to this person, you let each other in; you form emotional bonds with them. The thing about these bonds is that while you’re just close friends, you can take on the characteristics, addictions and even every spiritual bondage that your friend is dealing with.  Yes, it is that serious. That’s why you find people who spend so much time together people who are very close to one another, begin to think and behave alike. There have been some exchanges taking place spiritually, and in the soul. 

This is why I am a huge fan of boundaries. I am very strict about who I keep close because I know what can come out of intimate friendships. 

There are godly friendship soul ties though. In the book of Samuel, we read that Jonathan and David’s souls were knit. It was this bond, this Godly knitting that helped David escape Saul’s various attempts to kill him. 

 

Not all emotional soul ties are bad, but there are ways to identify a good one:

Any tie that draws you away from God in any way, is not a healthy soul tie. There is no such thing as a stagnant Christian. You’re either drawing closer to God or you’re drawing away from Him. Evaluate which direction your emotional tie is taking you. 

Co-dependence: if your tie does not allow you to function on your own: make up your own mind, do your own thing, walk your own path: it is not healthy. You should NEVER be so deeply tied to a friend/ group of friends (other than your spouse) that you cannot walk away from them with ease. 

WHY SO SERIOUS?

Having Ungodly soul ties can actually hinder you from becoming the person you were created to be. If you are emotionally tied to a friend for example, and where God is taking you, that friend cannot come with you. Because you are tied, you are unable to walk away and so you will stay there, wondering why your life is not progressing. 

Especially those ties that come with strongholds and those friendships that don’t draw you closer to God or help you become a better person. 

The Bible tells us to love God with all our heart, body and soul. You cannot give God your entire soul, if pieces of it are being held in soul ties. In order for God to mold you into everything He knows you can be, you need to be free! 

Y’all think this is a joke. There are people who will never be everything they were created to be, because they married the wrong person, or have ungodly soul ties. In fact, in some cases, having a soul tie with a former boyfriend can stop you from finding a husband. The space meant for that man, is already occupied by someone else and you don’t even realize it. You think it’s just old memories and what not.

BREAKING FREE…

The first thing you need to do, is make up your mind that you want to be free of this. You cannot decide to break a soul tie because you’re angry at someone and they’re not treating you right, because the day they decide to start acting right, you’ll re-build that tie. 

You have to decide to relinquish them from your heart. Throw away everything that reminds you of that person, photos, gifts, letters. If there is even one song on your playlist that brings up memories of this person, delete it. Cut ties and let them go in every way. 

You need to pray over it, repeatedly until it is gone. Ask God to heal your memory; He can do that.

If you’re holding on to anger towards a person, you are still tied. You can be angry about an event that happened, without being angry at the person who did it. It is possible and legit.

If the tie is with a close, intimate friend…put some distance and keep them at arm’s length, unless God has specifically told you that this person/people need to go.